If you were to sift through my bedroom back at my
parents, you would find stacks of old Games Workshop figures. The only thing I brought with me from this
stage of my teenage life was a huge map of the Warhammer world, which sits
alongside my map of Westeros and Middle-Earth.
This has been my first year living away from my parents
since University, which came after a good few years working out how to make
this Freelance Thing work. I moved in
with a couple of Anarchists who were glued to Gogglebox.
This year has really been a productive year for me. I wrote a play for Harrogate Youth Theatre,
and have just finished another for Hull truck Youth Theatre. Past Henry’s goal was to write plays for
young people, and to achieve that has been super awesome. I’ve gigged at Latitude and Boomtown Fair and
went up to EdFringe with a show. Say Owt
Slam has gone from strength to strength.
But I am constantly worried I take it for granted. I’m always worried I take everything for
granted.
I get anxiety sometimes about what should be achieved,
and is achievable. I constantly compare
where I am to where other people are.
This is too much of a competitive trait, it assumes everyone climbs the
same ladder, or worse is on the same production line.
Now I have more rent and food bills to pay than when I
lived at my folks, I have started to worry about money. Now, actually, I don’t really need to. I’m kind of on top of finances, and I am
slowly making enough each month. But I
do worry about money, because I worry about GreedCreep.
This term popped into my head recently.
When I was a kid, I would write long lists of what
Warhammer I would buy if we won the lottery.
I don’t think this was because I wanted to hoard all the Warhammer in
the world all for myself. Warhammer is a
game you play with other people. I
wanted more to use in our Saturday daytime battles. Though, at the end of the day, it’s still ownership
over stuff.
I wanted all the music I could get, so that I could find
and enjoy gigs, take part in conversations and maybe even form a band (pity it
took 10 years, but we got there, guys).
I’m getting that quite badly again. This time with Board Games. 2015 will forever be recorded as the year we
all got obsessed with the Game Of Thrones Board Game, but I’ve also got very
much into Boss Monster, Dominion, Coup and a few others. I like the fact I can arrange a gaming
day/evening and have a huge selection to enjoy.
To that end, I have this twitch whenever I walk past
Travelling Man or OG Games. I kind of
get this sense I really want more games to add to my collection. Lego, Mighty Max, CDs, patches, plays,
comics, books…I’ve always been a bit of a magpie for collecting.
However, I think this is GreedCreep. It’s not necessarily an evil thing, I don’t
want to have all the money in the world ever.
But I do think it is a gnawing bug in the back of my brain. It’s a force that drags me in certain
directions, to certain websites or to certain shops. And I think it’s a major force in nerd
culture. Since the nerdifcation the ordinary,
since the commercialisation of nerdiness, you can get watches, dressing gowns,
shoes, hats, gloves, socks, pencils, notepads, cases, clocks, curtains,
bedsheets, stationary…anything with Tyrion, Finn, Batman or even Joe Strummer’s
face on.
And, yeah, it might be punky to love music, nerdy to love
games but it’s still capitalism, it’s still a wanting of objects, of things, of
items and no matter how much you dress it as ‘alternative’ culture.
So I’m going to keep an eye on this GreedCreep. This wanting.
Because I like my Pokemon shoes, I like my bag o’ patches, I like my
zine library and play collection and new comic books and I LOVE my new board
games, but I need to make sure these are for sharing with folks. These games are to be played, comic books to
be shared, CDs to be lent and plays to be written for people to perform.
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