We are The Young Conservatives who
Came of age in Austerity Britain.
But we're doing just fine, so keep the
Stats and poverty nicely hidden.
Ironed shirt, M&S tie, neat hair
I rate my Union Jack striped underwear.
Here's a tip: Best to look away
When our Old School Tie MP tuts about "disabled gays".
Our generation's big issue is the climate crisis
Don't truant, swot in school Fellow Kids
To become the bankers & brokers of the future
Making money from the broken system rapture.
We're not racist!
(but defend the Windrush Scandal)
Rees-Mogg fans too lukewarm to handle.
#BackBoris - Make our filters a Royal Blue
(Dammit why is Left-wing music so cool?!)
We Young Tories praise the cuts on Snapchat
Prop up pro-austerity Eton top hat lads.
Bad budgeting is why the poorest die
Wait...did that Councillor just touch my thigh?
Look at the hatred in those working class eyes!
Applauded when Father cut the NHS down to size!
"It's so hard being all right on the British Alt-Right" we cry.
Golly gosh, watch us weep when we get criticised!
Quick! Find an immigrant to demonise!
