UP THE NERD PUNX

UP THE NERD PUNX

This is my new work-in-progress poem.  NERDS!  PUNKS!  I want your feedback and thoughts!

I love punk rock, I know you feel it

From the age of 16 I was bouncing to the ceiling

But from the age of 11, I was a master Trainer

And from the age of 8, I mastered Age of Empires

And since I was born I wanted to sail on a pirate ship

This is a tribute to the Nerds who don stud jackets

The gamers who also have Mohawks

And the hardcore readers into hardcore

The only time the fist stops pumping in the air is when it rolls the D&D dice:

We’re skanking with a skeksies

And moshing with Yoshi & the Mario brothers

Clash City Nerfherders

Cross-gender cosplayers make better lovers

We feel the same fury hearing

Hey-Ho- Let’s Go

As we do from a battlecry from Liono

Radio radio radio CB Radio

When I got the chiptune, I got a place to go

Beano comics and Punk fanzines sit on my shelf

I made myself a Horcrux, I’m going straight to hell

We’re Henry Rollins the D12

You come at us, you’re gonna hurt yourself

Punk rock is for Orcs, prog rock is for Elves

You racists better know the rules well

You’re playing with half a Magic The Gathering deck

I learnt about equality

From The Specials and watching Shrek

We embrace all cultures

Vulcan, Minbari and even Dalek

Rest assured, we meet a fascist in the street

We’re gonna do more than just a Jedi mind trick

Like The Ramones sang:  I don’t wanna grow up.  But I don’t want to stay a child, I want to stay savage & cause a fuss.  Don’t grow up, evolve, level up.

Singing Colour Me Wednesday in parseltounge whilst chewing out a rhythm on my bubblegum getting drunk at lunch with the Goonies and Chunk

Keep your steampunk and crustpunk Up The Nerd PUNX!

What gigs do Nerd Punx attend?

Last week I had a good mosh

This Riot Grrrl band had vocals from Laura Croft

Alongside Selena Kyle on guitar

Bass featuring Tank Girl

Girls To The Front!

There was Taranga Leela whacking those drums

“Shut up and take my money”

We shouted as we dropped coins into the bucket for donations

Touring bands gotta eat and buy action figures (all limited edition)

But when I got home and went online

An advert read:  Male Gamers Only next to a chained-up half-naked She-Goblin

I saw a meme which said:  Sexy Cosplayers:  If she doesn’t expect you to stare a bit, her naivety isn’t your problem

I’m sick of the male hero saving the day when the female characters have no agency

Seriously, Thou Shalt Never The Read The Comments if you want to keep faith in humanity.

Why are aliens always an allegory of non-white peoples

And as much as Groot is cool, I’m still waiting for a super-hero film with a female lead

Rather than a film featuring a talking tree

Now I’d love to fight in the Thunderdome or join the crew of The Smokers

(I’ve almost got the wardrobe already)

But the way we live, this planet might not have much longer

So let’s be green like the Hulk, and smash pollution

Call up the Ents, get planting those trees!

Captain Planet was the biggest eco-terrorist of the 1990s

The only thing that can stop us…are nosebleeds

(not the short-lived 70s punk band)

No War But The Secret Wars

Winter Is Coming, so probably not a good idea to tour

ACAB:  All Cyborgs Are Bugged

No Gods (except Khorne)

No Masters (expect Admiral Thrawn)

We are not a corner of the market to target

We are targeting you and we’re coming harder

Our bodies, our scenes, our identity, our dreams

A love for the complex, and love for the bizarre

We are not the same, we celebrate the difference

And did you think I could get through a nerdy poem without a Pokemon reference?

Either bolt to the door or take my Thunderbolt, you’re in for an electric shock, these Geodude’s are more rock than you, you’re like a Diglet beneath my shoe, if you were my last Pokémon I still wouldn’t choose you

I’ll send you to the grave, coast with the Ghost-types, We’re harder than a bulked-up Chansey, look into my eyes, like Articuno it’s icy, you think Porygon is pricey?  You couldn’t afford a potion, stop causing a commotion like a beached Dewgong I’m ten times tougher than the toughest Rhydon and here come the Egg Bomb:  I’m a master of all 718 Pokemon!

Ok…it’s time to be serious now:

Neo-liberalism has gone too far!

Time for an anti-capitalist revolution

Tear down REKAL Incorporated & the Umbrella Corporation!

Bring down Omni Consumer Products & the Soylent Corporation!

If you wanna don a V mask, fine by me

So long as it’s not made in a sweat shop factory 

We’ll reclaim the past starting with November 5^th 1955!

Anarchy mode!  Start9! 

So raise your fist, or hold your palm with three fingers in the air

For every nerd who spent hours alone

Pouring ideas in unseen tidal waves

For every punk who placed faith in rage and three chords

For every nerd who placed hope in stars and space

For every punk who customised their lives

For every nerd who refused to run their race

For everyone who didn’t quite fit in.

Don’t let them copyright the galaxy

Or give dreams a price structure

As Strummer sang:  “Turning rebellion into money”

(And this time I’m not talking about the Rebel Alliance)

It’s my job to keep Nerd Punk Elite 4

I say that feeling guilty

Nerd punk isn’t arguing about who shot first or which translation is worse, it’s about building a safe space for debating.

A place where the outsider kids and awkward adults can escape, if only briefly, the clutch of the mainstream, we will not be assimilated!

Let’s not forget if the sewers were good enough for the Turtles, they’re good enough for us

So let’s celebrate an underground whist infecting the world above.

Up The Nerd Punx!

Come at me bro, we’re coming out fighting

Make yourself as tall as the Colossus Titan

Be like Wolverine but twice as vicious

Make yourself as brave as Tommy Pickles

We’re looking for alternative worlds because the mechanics in this one are broken

We’re earth-shattering and world-builders, nerds and punk rockers

Roll the dice, we’re fighting.  Up The Nerd Punx!